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I think that sometimes we focus so much on the differences between men and women—how we communicate, how our brains are wired, how we approach relationships—that we often forget that when we get down to it, men and women are pretty similar.

We ask many of the same questions, have many of the same anxieties, and find ourselves in many of the same situations. Case in point: the first date. I know women often come away from first dates with more questions than answers. Will he call?

"tonight was so fun. we should do something again soon!"

Was it a bad that he hugged me goodbye? Do I even like him? Well, ladies, I'm here to tell you, guys are doing the same thing. I might not verbalize all these questions out loud to my best buds, but in my head I'm running through a very similar list of what ifs and woulda, coulda, shouldas. So now that the secret's out—we're all wondering where we stand with our date—let's look at some common questions guys are asking themselves and how you can address them—and save you both from a lot of unknowns.

This will hopefully give you an inside look into where your date is coming from and what questions he is hoping to have answered before that "should we hug— kiss— shake hands? But for the most part, you already have your answer.

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The simple fact of the matter is, if we asked you out, we are interested. You are awesome and worth the fear of rejection! After finally working up the courage to ask you out, plan the date, pay for dinner, and so on, a guy wants to know—are you or aren't you? We typically struggle to pick up on non-verbal cues that would normally communicate interest or lack thereof eye contact, body language, etc. If you're feeling good about things, instead of saving your "I had a great time" for the end of the evening, choose a spontaneous moment during the date to say if you mean it"I just want to thank you for asking me out tonight because I am having a great time!

Do this, and I promise the remaining portion of the date, while it might have been good before, will be great now.

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He knows you're enjoying yourself, so he, too, can relax and enjoy himself. Despite what the stereotypes might suggest, women are not the only ones who think about the future after only a first date. Guys do it, too. We partake in the over-analytical, self-conscious post-date breakdown. We think about whether or not the two of us are compatible, if we share interests, could we work well together if this turned into a longer relationship? This all comes back around to compatibility, and compatibility takes time. If you're left with questions of compatibility after the first date, be patient.

If your date asks you out again, accept. Give it some time to develop, and you'll likely have more answers.

"have you made it home safely yet?"

Hopefully, he will give you the same time for consideration. But when we step back and think about it, why would we want to force this? When you meet that special someone, you want it to be exactly that: special. So why would this be any different when it comes to dating? Would you like to go on a second date next week? Even if he's into you and wants that next date, he's probably nervous.

What if she doesn't feel the same?

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Call later? Keep it casual?

Is the feeling mutual?

I say this because when you hint at your expectations, it empowers both the guy and the girl to be more free in the relationship. Forgive the sports analogy, but relationships are always a team sport—if I know what my teammate expects of me, I can go out on the court and step up to the challenge and do my job, but without clear expectations I might hesitate. By giving a guy the green light to call you, he may do just that, or he may really take your go-ahead a step further and set up date No.

Some of the best dates I have ever been on were when the girl straight-up told me why she was having such a good time.

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I was so excited that on one of those dates I couldn't wait any longer and asked her on second date halfway through dinner risky move, but we both were enjoying ourselves and it made the rest of the first date that much more enjoyable. Either way, when you give your date the go-ahead, you're taking a lot of the pressure off and he'll be grateful. If you're not interested in him though, let the guy down easy. Be proactive about letting him know you are not interested in a follow-up date.

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At the end of the evening, tell him you had a nice time and that you are grateful for the chance to get to know him a bit better, but that you don't think it's a good fit. I've had this happen before and believe me, it removes all the pressure.

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I know what your expectations are and can learn to respect that. But when this happens, make these subtle shifts in your own behavior, and you'll likely see him do the same. Sounds like a win, win!

The "final jeopardy!" clue that stumped champ

Photo Credit: Manchik Photography. Think again. Let's sift through the confusion and figure out what his true intentions are. Is the date going well? Here's what he's probably thinking.

Two peas in a pod

Every man is afraid of rejection, but there are some things you can do to make it easier for him. Home Relationships. Is the Feeling Mutual? Was she interested or not? She seemed quiet; did she not enjoy the date? Two Peas in a Pod Can I actually be myself around her?

How can you tell if your first date was successful?

I had a good time, but is she right for me? Did she really think my jokes were funny? Great Expectations How soon should I plan the second date? What are her expectations? By Justin Petrisek. By Isaac Huss.

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Are you feeling over the moon after having a successful first date?


Have you recently been on a first date?


After a night spent strolling through the park, eating ice cream, and clinking glasses at outdoor bars, you might be too busy replaying the majesty of it all — or relaying details to friends — to even think about crafting the perfect text to send after a first date.


Is there anything better than a great first date?