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It happens. When we don't get things that we ardently wished for, we can't help but feel disheartened at the cruel joke that the universe seems to have played on us. Some guys take this concept of being nice to another level.


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Except, most of the time this nice guy archetype can be pulled apart to depict the worst sort of men. Ross is a paleontologist with a Ph. He also is a single dad, who barely ever has his son with him and compulsively lies to and manipulates women so that they do not break up with him. I remember everyone wanting them to get together and for Rachel to give him a chance—and then she does and he never really treats her like a human being for the duration of their relationship.

Not only that, but one of the cons is that Rachel is a waitress. He literally thinks she is beneath him because Nice guy for friends does not have a career. And then, once she gets a chance at her dream jobRoss has a complete meltdown. Ross does this even though he found it a turnoff that she worked in the service industry.

Instead of being a supportive boyfriend, Ross suffocates Rachel. Ross struggles to separate his personal feelings of inadequacy from allowing Rachel to be able to grow and be satisfied and proud of her job. Ultimately this le Rachel to feeling overwhelmed so that she asks for a break after a cringe-worthy anniversary that Ross ruins.

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Later on, Ross and Rachel have a crazy drunken night in Las Vegas and wake up married. They agree to get the marriage annulled but then Ross decides not to go through with the paperwork because he will be too upset that his failed relationship with Rachel is also his third divorce. And these are just his grievances against Rachel. No one points out that his behavior is weird, obsessive, and borderline stalkerish.

The cast of Friends are each narcissists, who lean into their particular archetype. Worse than that, it taught women that this behavior is romantic and not emotionally abusive.

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This nice guy prototype is remarkably identical to many of the notallmen complaints. Ross Geller is the quintessential cultural symbol that allowed this sort of immature, self-serving behavior to become socially acceptable.

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And I think, if we plan to heal and move away from characters that use and castigate women, we have to demand Hollywood create responsible male characters who are self-aware, have human emotions without melting down, and treat women with dignity and respect. Until this kind of well-rounded, supportive male character emerges, we will be stuck with the general population imitating Ross Geller, which is more disappointing than anyone ever thought it would be.

Sabrina Cognata is an award-winning writer, producer and storyteller. During a decade long meltdown, she burned her life to the ground and revamped it as often as Madonna.

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This a classic example of feminizi fuck off and get a better job than looking at 90 TV shows and trying to be a good feminist. I am a woman and I think that these types of articles are the reason the internet hates feminist. This is just going backwards instead of going forward. This kind of thinking makes people with actual problems look like radical feminist Jesus Christ. Yeah, Ross is the worst!

Women don’t just want a ‘nice guy’

Most of this analysis falls apart once you factor in how his behavior is portrayed not least through the reactions of his peers and that this is a sitcom that does what sitcoms does — make reasonable characters do unreasonably things for the comedic effect. Sure, he is a narcissistic idiot, and Joey is a literal idiot, Rachel is shallow, Monica is obsessive, Chandler is emotionally challenged, and sure, Phoebe is detached from reality — they are all ideal types of what they represent.

Pretty much every character in every sitcom is that, and pretty much all of them behaves in extreme ways to support that notion. And again, that goes not only for the friends, but for every sitcom character. You must be logged in to post a comment. Hollywood's Insider News.

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This kind of thinking makes people with actual problems look like radical feminist Jesus Christ Log in to Reply. Amanda Garcia on December 3, am.

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Tobias Henriksen on January 13, pm. Counting present day ones too.

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Cj on July 10, pm. Relax with the bullshit theories.

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I always appreciate it when a topic for an article happens to fall into my lap.


Welcome to… cue thunder and scary music… the friend zone.


Charlotte Hems-Rogers explores the puerile punchlines and pitfalls of Friends — and how contemporary television is improving, but can still learn from its mistakes.


I always appreciate it when a topic for an article happens to fall into my lap.